Going through the motions

Going through the motions - a phrase that has bad connotations in society and culture today, associating it with lack of motivation or purpose. One thesaurus defines it thus, "to do something in a mechanical manner indicative of a lack of interest or involvement."

I contend that we miss the point. Going through the motions is a necessary part of life. We all have responsibilities that sometimes become dull and boring: work, exercise, finances, volunteerism, sometimes even our closest relationships do not excite us.

I enjoy riding a bicycle, on- or off-road, it really does not matter. But there are days when I do not "feel" like riding. Some of you may walk or run or lift weights to exercise. Some days the exercise lifts us to new heights, but all of us have down times. What do we do in those times? Quit? Self-discipline would have us "go through the motions" and do our workout regimen anyway. Sometimes an accountability partner can help us over these humps.

Who among us honestly "feels:" like going to work every day. Even though I usually really enjoy my job, there are days when I would rather take a bike ride than face a day in the office. There is something about how we are wired that we will sometimes struggle with motivation to do things we know are good and right and beneficial.

Relationships? There are certainly days when we are frustrated with a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend or a coworker, and want nothing to do with them. If we succumb to those feelings, our marriages dissolve, we become alienated from family members and friends, and work becomes unbearable.

I have been married for 27 years. Some times have been wonderful and amazing, and my heart and soul thrilled to be with my wife, in love. Other times our finances and young children or older children's activities or just maintaining the house and laundry and dishes and cooking and lawn drained us. We had no energy or excitement in being together. We did not feel "in love." My emotions often deceive me (when I recognize I have them). They might tell me that I am no longer "in love," but the truth is that I love my wife, regardless of my feelings and emotions at the moment. Love perseveres. Love will go through the motions to maintain and preserve and cultivate a relationship. The rewards follow the self-discipline.

Going through the motions holds with spiritual disciplines, as well, at least it does with mine. There are days when I do not "feel" like reading the Bible or journaling or praying or singing praise or rejoicing. But there are benefits to persevering in these spiritual disciplines. I have been reading the Bible daily for about thirty years. I am not struck with some new insight every time I open the book. But if I give in to my feelings and leave the book closed, there is no opportunity for insight or conviction.

Beginning when I was in high school, I would have inspirations and record my thoughts on whatever random piece of paper I could find. I still have some of those (writings and random thoughts). In college after learning about taking sermon notes to get more out of a sermon (and to stay awake), I often recorded thoughts on church bulletins, with or without sermon notes. In 1987, shortly before the death of my grandfather and birth of my eldest son, I started a journal. I did well for a few months, making almost daily entries. There are memories about the complications and trials of his birth that would be lost without that journal. But after a few months, life caved in on me, and I gave into it. Journal entries became sporadic until February 8, 1988. Then they stopped for almost two years. There was no discipline, no attempt to "go through the motions." I just got overwhelmed by life; I was a father of a handicapped child, I was trying to finish my Master's degree, provide for my family by selling fine cutlery for a summer, starting on my PhD, ...

But on January 17, 1990, another entry appears in my journal, confessing my faithlessness, repenting, and telling God I want Him to be foremost, before all the other stuff in my life. Now there are more than 21 years of daily journal entries. Some of them are really boring and short, but I went through the motions. I sat down, read the Bible, and recorded events and thoughts about the day or life or work, or the passage I read, or the movie I watched or book I read, or the news event in the world, or what my child said or we did together and how that impacted me. There are a multitude of  entries that are prayers confessing my confusion over how to communicate with, and properly love, my wife. There are  months of entries addressing the grief and pain of my dad's death before we had a chance to reconcile. But there are still days where the entry is a date, Bible book/chapter references with nothing beside them, and one or two sentences about the previous day. On those days, I go through the motions so I do not lose the spiritual discipline, and fall out of the habit of keeping a daily journal.

There are days and weeks when the prospect of reviewing the Bible passages I have memorized does not thrill my heart. If I give in and do not review the passages (as I did when working on my PhD), I lose them. They pass from my memory, and I have limited God's ability to bring a passage to mind during meditation.

Jesus tells us our heart (and emotions) will follow our treasure (Mt 6:21). Motivation and reward follows our priorities, not the other way around.

So, on the days when my motivation and interest are minimal or nonexistent, I go through the motions to maintain my treasures: the momentum of more than 21 years of journaling, thirty years of daily Bible readings, 27 years of marriage to a woman I love more deeply than life itself, ...

Grace is necessary in this walk. I must allow myself some grace for the times I stumble and have little interest. It took a long time to become consistent, and I needed to extend myself the same grace God would rather than self-flagellate over my failure and inconsistency.

May you find comfort in my failures, encouragement in my successes, and strength in God to forge your own discipline that will lead you into greater depths of love for God, your family, and others.